It has come to my attention that there is a terrible rumor going around about men: that we're selfish in bed. Hey, I'll admit, there's not a man I know who will decline oral sex from a woman he fancies. I mean, it's a blowjob! It's one of the all-time greatest discoveries—just ahead of Columbus finding America. Still, I take issue with this rumor. Because as much as men like to receive, we also love to give. If it's not already obvious why, let me explain:
It Extends The Pleasure
The penetration part of sex generally only lasts a few minutes. I didn't make this up. There is actual research on this (and even stats on which state lasts the longest in bed). So a fella's best hope for marathon sex—or you know, sex that lasts longer than a commercial break—is to dedicate a little a time to you alone.
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…And Increases Our Odds of a Dual Climax
If there were a race toward orgasm, men would win every time. But it's not a race—sex is a team sport. And getting you revved up before the main event makes it a little more likely that we'll get to cross the finish line together.
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The Feeling of Your Fingers in Our Hair
The sexy scalp massage we get when we're doing our thing is definitely a bonus. Our scalps are covered with nerve endings that rarely receive attention, and you're really the only person we want going to town up there. (We'd rather eat a set of shears than ask our barber for a scalp massage.) So don't be afraid to get in there—a little tugging isn't bad, either.
We Get to Slow Down and Appreciate Your Body
Every guy has his own pet spots on your body. They're the curves and angles that are fully sexualized in his mind, even though you've never given them much though. Maybe it's the sloping arch of your back, the smooth skin beneath your belly button, or the way your hip bone moves flirtatiously beneath your skin. From this vantage point, we really get to take it all in.
One Word: Underboob
Imagine you're in our position. Now look up. Not a bad view, right?
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It's a Hell of a Lot More Fun Than a Foot Rub
Believe it or not, we like making you feel good. So if you ask for a foot rub or a back massage, we'll give it to you. But will a foot rub or back massage get you off? Probably not. The truth is, guys love it when you orgasm, and with oral sex, the odds are in our favor.
We Can Focus on What Matters
We know we have the tendency to ignore your clitoris during intercourse, and we definitely want to apologize about that—we know the C-spot is pretty crucial for orgasm. But man that thing is tiny! It's like trying to hit a quarter-inch target while being distracted by the rest of your naked body. With oral sex, we have an unobstructed, distraction-free opportunity to make it up to you, and we're up to the task.
It Strengthens Our Connection
Nothing is as intimate as oral sex—not even intercourse. And when you open yourself up to us like that, we feel insanely close to you—both physically and emotionally.
Because…Sexual Karma
It's not like we expect reciprocation—we absolutely don't—but it's one of life's great truisms that the more one gives, the more one receives. So whether we get the favor returned immediately, another night, or never, we know that pleasing you is putting out good sex vibes. Plus, getting you all revved up means there's a pretty good chance something awesome is about to happen next. And who wouldn't be happy about that?
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Clint Carter is a reporter and editor with a magazine journalism degree from the University of Missouri.
