8 Guys Confess Their Most Private Sexual Insecurities

Sex is something most men love, long for, and look forward to doing pretty often. However, for many men (including myself), it’s also something we look forward to with at least a tiny bit of anxiety and/or trepidation. Like, we really want to do it, but we’re also just a bit…nervous.

I personally equate it with a big high school basketball game. I was always simultaneously excited and horrified the entire day before those games because I wanted the game to happen but incessantly worried I’d blow everything and we would lose in a horribly embarrassing way.

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ANYWAY. What I’m trying to say is that not all men constantly feel like sex gods. We have a lot of sexual insecurities, too. Hey, we’re only human!

Here's what some of my pals said they felt the most insecure about (don't worry guys, I kept it anonymous).

“Always. No matter what. Since the first time I had sex and shot one off in about 12 seconds, I’ve been worried about this. I have turned down innumerable sexual opportunities because of my lack of faith in my longevity. I have drunk to excess many times in pursuit of ‘whiskey d*ck.’ I have tried to start out in certain positions that I can handle. I have tried thinking about terribly non-arousing things to distract myself. My best bet for getting over it is to tell the woman straight away that I’m probably going to come quickly and that if I do, I would love it if she would give me a few minutes to recharge, as it were.”

"And it’s the thing I want to be best at. But vaginas are complicated! And everyone likes something different. I deal with it first by getting down there and giving it the old college try. Then, I make it a point to ask her what she likes.”

"I think everyone has a different way they go about French kissing, and I always worry, especially with a new partner, that my style isn’t going to go well with theirs. And if you can’t kiss well—or well enough that a girl actively wants to make out with you—then you’re putting up a roadblock for anything that comes after kissing. I try to overcome it by literally feeling out the woman’s way of kissing and going with that. Sometimes I have to adapt. I’m like a kissing chameleon or something.”

"Dick size is a weird thing because you almost never know how you measure up to the other men she’s been with. I haven’t found a way to overcome it other than just trying to put it out of my mind while I do the best I can with what God gave me. There isn’t really another way to go about it, in my mind. If you ask a girl about your penis size, she’s either going to lie or hit you with some brutal truth that you probably won’t want to believe anyway.”

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"It’s a thing. So I get insecure about what I smell like down in that region, and I assume it’s probably never good. My penis, balls, and taint are usually marinating in my own sweat throughout the day, which doesn’t exactly yield a lovely floral scent, so I’m always insecure about what a girl will think if/when she goes down on me. All I can do to overcome that is to powder my balls or spray some cologne or Febreeze down there before a big date and then hope for the best.”

"I’m a single guy who is usually at least a bit buzzed whenever I find myself in a sexual situation, and sometimes I worry I’ll get too drunk to get one up and actually have sex. It’s happened to me a couple times—okay, a few—and it’s terrible to get back to my or a woman’s place to hook up and then be physically unable to. I try to get past this by not drinking so much when I think there’s a possibility of a hookup, but that possibility often presents itself when I’m already three sheets to the wind.”

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"There’s no template out there for how much you should verbally engage with your partner or what exactly you should say or what noises you should make. I find myself too distracted by whether I’m saying too much or not enough—when I know I should just be enjoying the moment and letting the grunts and words flow organically. I try to overcome this insecurity by following the girl’s lead. If she’s loud and talkative, I try to match her. If she’s completely quiet, I try to match that. But then I get insecure about why she isn’t making any sounds…”

"Getting naked in front of someone, especially for the first time, is daunting. I don’t know if I’ll ever overcome my body-image issue or whatever, but I think the best way to deal with it is by going full frontal and hoping for the best. You just have to get past the fact that you don’t look Channing Tatum. The person you’re about to sleep with doesn’t expect you to.”