Although it’s not always talked about so openly, mental illness is quite common—in fact, according to a survey done by Women’s Health and the National Alliance of Mental Illness, 78 percent of women suspect they have one, and 65 percent have been diagnosed with one. Still, a huge stigma persists. To break that down, we spoke to 12 women dealing with conditions like depression, PTSD, and more. All this month, we’re sharing their stories.
Name: Kimberly Zapata
Age: 32
Occupation: Writer
Diagnosis: Depression
Before I figured out I had depression, I felt like I was going nuts. Why couldn’t I get it together? Why couldn’t I have fun? Why couldn’t I just snap out of it when all my friends were able to just go out and go to the movies and have a good time and laugh? I didn’t understand why. I didn’t know who I could turn to. I didn’t know if I could go to my mom or my teachers and say, ‘I feel sad, but I don’t know why.’ It was so hard to verbalize.
RELATED: How Writing About My Anxiety and Depression Has Helped Me Cope
When I first sought treatment, it wasn’t really my choice. I was cutting myself, and I confided in a teacher. The first time I went into that therapist’s office, I didn’t tell the whole story. I just did what I had to do to get back in school. A couple months later, a different teacher found out that I was still cutting. It escalated again, and that’s when I started more consistent therapy. But it was still inconsistent, I would say, until I was in my twenties.
Watch our video interview with Kimberly for more on living with depression:
Years ago, depression robbed me of everything. I was suicidal. I tried to take my life when I was 17 and again when I was 20. It totally decimated my life. And now, it’s changed my life for the better, in the sense that it’s given me the ability to talk to others. I’m a writer, and I’ve done a lot of mental health work. I’ve written my story, and I’ve shared it with other people. I’ve had people reach out to me and thank me for what I said. To be able to change someone else’s life has made my own illness worthwhile.
RELATED: Answers to the Mentall Illness Questions You've Been Too Afraid to Ask
My depression has also helped me with my daughter—I have a 2-and-a-half year old. It’s allowed me to be more empathetic and compassionate. It’s allowed me to teach her things: I can say, ‘Mommy messed up,’ and ‘Mommy’s sorry,’ and ‘Mommy’s not feeling well today’ and try to find a way to explain it to her without getting into depression in full. But I also don’t want to keep her in the dark. I don’t want her to think, ‘Mommy’s crying because I did something wrong.’ It’s giving me an opportunity to have a dialogue with my daughter that I don’t know if I would’ve had otherwise. I think it keeps us open and honest and makes for a unique bond.
Pick up the May 2016 issue of Women's Health, on newsstands now, for tips on how to help a friend who has a mental illness, advice on how to disclose a diagnosis at work, and more. Plus, go to our Mental Health Awareness center for more stories from real women and to find out how you can help break the stigma surrounding mental illness.
