12 Awkward, Hilarious Sex Fails That ACTUALLY Happened

Let's get one thing straight: Sex definitely doesn't have to be perfect to be amazing. In fact, getting it on with someone who you can laugh and joke with is always hotter than being with someone who is super serious—no matter how skilled they are. Little mishaps and awkward moves are par for the course, and that's totally expected. But then again, sometimes there are sex fails SO cringe-worthy, there is just no recovering from them. These real-life sex disasters fall into the latter category: 

"My boyfriend and I were going at it, him on top, and he was obviously tuckering out. So I told him to flip over, I'd get on top and do some work. But when he got up, I could see that his condom wasn't there! WTF! Sex immediately stopped and we embarked on a search-and-rescue mission for the lost condom. After about 30 minutes, I went into the bathroom and went deep-sea diving, only to find that the condom had been smashed into a mangled ball against my cervix. This happened twice. Apparently I have a black hole of a vagina." —Aleisha F. 

"It was winter, and my boyfriend was recovering from a cold. It was dark, and we went to change positions when I accidentally hit him in the face, and he got a bloody nose. He turned on the lights and it was all over my chest and the sheets! It was definitely a mood killer." —Jessica H.

"Let's just say never have sex with a lava lamp on top of your headboard. When it fell on me during sex, it left a golf ball-sized knot on the side of my head. The blow knocked me out for a few seconds and scared my husband to death." —Amber J.

"It was our first night on a Caribbean cruise, so we were obviously getting frisky. After finishing our 'activities' we realized I had bled quite a bit while having sex (and was not on my period and was embarrassing to begin with). Of course the perfectly white duvet and sheets were a mess! We had to strip the whole bed and write a note to housekeeping requesting them to be cleaned (since it was only the first day, they normally just make the bed and clean up). Needless to say, we left an extra big tip for our maid." —Blake S.

"One time I was having sex in my ex's truck, and I hit my head so bad I thought I had a concussion. We obviously had to stop, and it was actually so bad that I needed to get ice.” —Madeline S.

"I met a really hot Italian musician at a bar one night, and after talking for an hour or two decided to go back to his place. When we got there we started making out and we were just about to start having sex when he stopped and pulled away. He said (very seriously), "I have to play for you." He whipped out his flute (not a euphemism) and began a solo jazz version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." No joke. We actually did end up having sex after that, but I could barely keep from laughing the entire time and obviously didn't climax." —Kristen S.

"One time my on-again-off-again hookup buddy invited himself over, but I really didn't want to have sex with him that night, because I hadn't shaved. I told him he could come over anyway just to hang though. I didn't fully trust myself to not give in, so I put on my hugest pair of granny panties aka my chastity belt. To be clear: These babies went all the up my stomach, practically to right under my boobs, and also had lace. (Why the least sexy pair of underwear was garnished with lace trim, I will never know.) Well, my chastity plan didn't really work, because he came over, we started making out, and before I knew it, he was feeling me up...and FELT MY HUGE LACY SPANDEX. He was like, 'Anne, WTF are you wearing?! And more importantly, is this what you always wear when you are alone in your apartment?' I made him avert his eyes while I stripped down—no way he was seeing those bad boys—and reminded myself that fake chastity belts never, ever work. Don't try 'em at home." —Anne D.

"My husband and I were watching Spartacus, a fiercely bloody but sexy show. One thing led to another, and we started having sex with him behind me. He was thrusting forward, and I was thrusting backward, and suddenly we heard a pop that brought him to his knees. We immediately iced his member, but the swelling didn't go down. I dropped him off at the ER while I parked—I was too embarrassed to go in with him because I knew everyone would look at me. The doctors told us he had torn the ligament of his member but fortunately didn't need surgery; it healed on its own." —Barri M.

"I was having pretty mild sex with this guy I was dating (he was on the smaller side and insisted on always using the same missionary-with-my-legs-over-his-shoulders style) when the bed started to lightly knock against my bedroom wall, which backed up to the wall of another roommate's bedroom. Just as we started to find our rhythm, we heard a LOUD throat clearing come from the other room. Needless to say, the mood was ruined. A month later, I had moved out." —Marie S. 

"I was hooking up with an artist I recently met who was visiting NYC for the weekend. The sex was amazing and I was so turned on by our sexual chemistry. Halfway through, he asked me if I liked what he was doing, but in my near-orgasm high, I accidentally said, "I love you" instead of "I love how this feels." He stopped thrusting, I apologized again and again, but he couldn't keep going after that." —Kenya J.

"I once dated a guy who was a total jackhammer in bed. One time, he completely missed the mark and rammed his penis up against the area between my vagina and bum. We both immediately doubled over in pain. Not sexy. The upside: He took things a little slower in bed after that!" —Ginny P. 

"My ex and I had just finished having sex, and he got up to throw out the condom. Still lying in his bed, I decided I'd try to find my underwear that I tossed aside earlier. I spotted it on the floor not too far away. I leaned over to get it right as he was walking out of his bathroom, and I fell right off the bed—naked onto his floor. I tried to make it look like I had planned on scooting off sexily, but he totally called me on it. 'Did you just fall off the bed?!' Yes, yes I did." —Anne G.