There’s no denying that butt stuff is a hot topic, yet anal sex still comes with a bit of taboo. Perhaps that’s because stepping into the anal arena for the first time can be intimidating, to say the least. Like what the heck are you supposed to do down there? Is it painful? Enjoyable? And most importantly: Is it actually possible to orgasm through anal sex? Well, to answer that last question: Yes, you can have an anal O.
Orgasms tend to be labeled based on the primary location of stimulation. For example, if you’re rubbing the external clitoris, it’s a “clitoral orgasm.” Or, if you’re primarily focused on internal or G-spot stimulation, it’s a “vaginal orgasm.” But the underlying structures that contribute to pleasure are all intertwined.
“No matter where the stimulation occurs (anus, breasts, vagina, clitoris), all orgasms are physiologically the same,” says Laurie Mintz, PhD, a sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate. “They entail erectile tissue in the genitals filling with blood and then being released with rhythmic contractions of the pelvic floor. Orgasms also release a flood of feel-good chemicals in one’s body.” Think of it this way: Whether you enter through the front door or, ahem, the back door, you end up in the same house.
Nevertheless, anal stimulation can lead to some quite powerful O’s compared to other forms of pleasure. Intrigued? Ahead, sex experts outline why people enjoy anal orgasms, and how to have one yourself.
What is an anal orgasm?
Simply put, an anal orgasm is a climax achieved by stimulation of high-density nerve spots in the anus. “Orgasms are essentially the sudden release of sexual tension,” says Sheila Loanzon, DO, an instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Boston University. “And there are different ways that an orgasm can be reached.” Including anally.
“There are shared nerves from the anterior wall of the rectum to the vagina,” Dr. Loanzon explains, “so for vagina owners, it may be possible for sexual arousal to occur from rectal stimulation.” Plus, the legs of the clitoris extend all the way back into the anus, so it could result in some clitoral stimulation, too.
And for anyone with a penis, anal stimulation triggers pleasure in the prostate area (that walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis).
What is the A-spot?
Since this is a convo on anal, you might think that’s the “A” in A-spot—but it's actually not the case. “The A-spot is technically called the ‘anterior fornix erogenous zone’ or the AFE zone,” says Mintz. “It is an area that some [people with a vagina] find sexually arousing when stimulated."
Located on the belly-side (or anterior) of the vaginal wall—past the G-spot, and just before the cervix—stimulating this area can produce wave-like contractions, says Kimberly Langdon, MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist at Medzino.
Whereas, for penis-owners, anal intercourse stimulates the region called the “P-spot” to produce an orgasm, says Dr. Langdon.
To hone in the A-spot, try pushing up towards the belly button (with a finger, dildo, or penis) the same way you’d target the G-spot in the vagina, says Alicia Sinclair, a certified sex educator and the founder of b-Vibe. “You have the same possibility of stimulating that central nerve area,” she adds.
Need a more thorough play-by-play? “Lay down on your back and pull your thighs against your belly, as this shortens the vaginal canal. Then using lots of lube and [preferably] a sex toy with a curve (usually marketed as a G-spot stimulator), place it inside and [aim for] the spot,” suggests Mintz. “Don’t turn on the vibrator until you know this is a pleasurable area for you and you are aroused, [then] start with the lowest speed.”
If this type of stimulation feels bothersome to you, don’t fret. Like all erogenous zones, the A-spot isn’t for everyone. “For some, stimulating this area results in more lubrication, arousal, and orgasm—and for others, [it] does nothing,” says Mintz, adding that some people may even find it uncomfortable or painful (and that's okay!).
What does an anal orgasm feel like?
Orgasms are as unique as the people having them, so the best way to discover what an anal one will feel like for you is to try it out! Whatever way you slice it, “an orgasm is an orgasm,” says Sinclair, “but they may feel different if they originate from different parts of the body.”
For example, some people report that clitoral orgasms feel more pinpointed to their genitals, while G-spot orgasms feel more full-bodied. (Folks often say the same in regards to penile versus prostate orgasms.) If this rings true for you, your anal orgasm may feel more all-encompasing and extra intense compared to other forms.
Curious to know to learn more about the mechanics of a big O? Watch a sex expert explain what an orgasm is, exactly:
What’s more? For some folks, anal play can be the best way to experience a G-spot or A-spot orgasm, rather than directly stimulating the vagina. Because of the extra layer of tissue protecting those sensitive areas when accessed anally, stimulation that might otherwise be too intense becomes more accessible. FYI, if you’re aiming for the A-spot, it’s worth noting that for many folks, prolonged pushing in one area versus continual thrusting can help them achieve orgasm, says Dr. Langdon. Noted!
Will it hurt?
While the orgasm itself shouldn’t hurt, you might hit some roadblocks on your way to get there, especially if you don’t plan ahead.
If at any point during anal you start to feel pain, take that as your cue to stop. Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong—and you should listen to it. “The anal opening is chock-full of touch sensitive nerve endings, so it is likely that touching outside will not hurt and may be pleasurable. However, anal insertion (with a finger, toy, or penis) will be very painful if not prepared properly,” says Mintz. (More on that later.) Skipping proper preparation can also lead to injuries, such as anal tears, Mintz adds.
Helpful reminder: If one method isn’t working for you (i.e., sex toys, fingers, tongue, penile penetration), others may still be enjoyable!
How to have an anal orgasm
When you’re traveling to the back door nether regions, here are some solid tips for hitting that anal O, per the experts.
1. Take a deep breath and relax.
A lot of times, when it comes to anal play and sex, you can put a lot of stress and strain on yourself, but as somatic sexologist Jaiya Ma puts it, “as soon as pressure enters the scene, arousal usually goes down.” Taking some deep breaths, playing relaxing music, or even picturing calming scenery can make a world of a difference before you journey south.
2. Train your behind.
Penetration isn’t necessary for pleasurable anal play—but if you want to go there, start slow.
Sinclair strongly cautions against going from “zero to penis” (or dildo). Instead, start small and solo with something she refers to as “anal training.” “The best place to start is always with your own finger so you can be the giver and receiver,” Sinclair says. Alternatively, you can use a slim butt plug or anal beads.
“The best thing you can do for a safe and pleasurable anal sex experience is to train your anal muscles so they are able to relax when being penetrated,” says Bobby Box, a sex educator for sex toy company b-Vibe. “You do this by penetrating the anus with a smaller, modest toy, and gradually building toward larger sizes as your body gets comfortable.”
Once you’ve accustomed yourself to the new sensations, invite a partner to join, having pinpointed what you like and what you don’t, Sinclair adds.
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3. Opt for what you know you like.
You stand the best chance of anal orgasm if you incorporate the routine that usually gets you to the finish line. Do you like vibration on your clit? Great, keep that vibrator stationed between your legs while your partner stimulates your anus. Do you like getting tied up before being penetrated? Grab the handcuffs and have your partner do their thing.
4. Combine multiple forms of stimulation.
When your body is getting acclimated to new forms of pleasure, it can help to complement the experience with different types of stimulation. “For many, stimulation (with a hand or tongue) on the outside of the anus is quite erotic when paired with penile or clitoral stimulation,” says Mintz.
5. Try various techniques.
While it’s great to stick with what you know, it doesn’t hurt to add new things to your sexual repertoire. For example, try incorporating anal play into penetrative sex, recommends Sinclair. A butt plug or finger can feel pleasurable to both partners, too.
6. If you’re on the giving end, go slooooooow.
The anus doesn’t self-lubricate (more on that in a bit), so it’s vital you take it at a tortoise pace when you start any penetrative play, to make certain you and your partner are both comfortable. “Talk about what feels good, and most importantly, get consent to continue in specifically desired ways, or stop,” says sexuality educator Ericka Hart, MEd.
7. Use lube, lube, and more lube.
For any kind of anal play, even masturbation, lube is key. You need to keep things slick, Sinclair says. Without lube, “you will experience friction that doesn’t feel good, and it may also cause small tears inside the anal canal,” which can increase risk of infection. So if anal orgasm is the goal, you’re going to want (read: need) to lubricate liberally.
Just make sure your lube doesn’t contain a numbing agent, Sinclair cautions. For anyone who’s anxious about an anal experience, a product that promises to spare your sensitive sphincter probably sounds great. But numbing your anus not only means you won’t experience any of the orgasmic pleasure, it also means you won’t register a rough session until it’s too late. Ouch.
8. Experiment with different positions.
For couples who want to try something different, Ma says having the receiving partner lie on their belly with one leg bent towards the chest, in a froggy position, and a pillow underneath their torso is a solid option. “It can make it easier to access the back door.” Other great options? Lying on one side with knees curled into the chest, or doggy-style.
9. Incorporate rimming.
Rimming, or oral-anal contact, can be very pleasurable. The anal area is super sensitive, so a soft, moist tongue might be the perfect, er, fit for stimulating this area.
“As a stand-alone act, receiving rimming can be just as or more pleasurable than any other kind of anal sex,” Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for sex toy company Good Vibes previously told Women’s Health. “Giving anal-oral can also be hot because you’re turning someone on, doing a service act for them.”
Like any other sex act, rimming comes with its own risks and safety considerations, so be sure to have a safer sex talk with your partner first before diving in. You might even consider using a dental dam for added safety.
10. Experiment with fingering.
There’s more to fingering than the classic “come hither” motion! When experimenting with anal fingering, be sure to follow the tips listed above, including going super slow and using plenty of lube. When it comes to sensitive areas like the anus, small objects and motions can have a big impact.
Even if you’ve taken the time to wash your hands and trim your nails (which you should) gloves can be useful, too. Not only do they help with clean-up, but they can smooth rough edges to make fingering both safer and more pleasurable. Fun fact: Wearing gloves makes your lube last longer, too, because your dry hands won’t be sucking up the moisture.
11. And don’t forget about safety!
The hottest sex is safe sex. “Preparing for anal play is a must to avoid injury or STIs,” says Mintz. Ahead, some safety tips to consider.
- Make sure any sex toy has a flared base. “The anus is like a highway and will suck anything up that does not flare to prevent entry,” says Hart. Taking an emergency trip to the ER to get something removed from your anal region? Eeeek.
- Always, always, always use lube. If you haven’t gotten the gist, lube is essential when it comes to anal play. “Many just lubricate the toy or penis, but one should really lubricate the toy/penis, the anus, and the rectum for optimal results,” says Box. “An easy way to lubricate the rectum is by using a lubricant applicator.”
- Wash the anus region and any toys with warm soapy water. You can even make this part of your foreplay by enjoying a shower or bath with your partner beforehand. “Wash one another and as you do, stimulate the anal opening while stimulating other areas at the same time, such as the clitoris and penis,” Mintz suggests.
- Use condoms and/or dams to protect against STIs. Pro tip: “If you’re using a condom, steer clear from oil-based lubes as they can damage latex, causing breakage,” says Box.
- Don’t go from anus to vagina without cleaning in between. Why? “The rectal canal houses all kinds of bacteria that can create nasty infections if they enter the vagina,” says Mintz. So yeah, if you’re not ISO a UTI or other type of infection, give your privates, toys, and/or fingers a little rinse before making the switcharoo.
- Remember: It is always okay to say “no.” “What’s important when talking about anal, or any other type of orgasms, is to be empowered to say ‘no’ to something they don’t want to try or don’t like,” says Mintz. You’re not required to check off different types of orgasms or have anal orgasm as a goal, especially if both partners don’t feel comfortable.
The bottom line: Anal sex can be fun, pleasurable, and, not to mention, O-worthy. And there are plenty of options in terms of toys and positions if you’re looking to experiment in this arena. As always, be safe!
Meet the Experts: Laurie Mintz, PhD, is a sex therapist, professor of human sexuality at the University of Florida, and the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—And How to Get It. Sheila Loanzon, DO, is an obstetrician and gynecologist, and an instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Boston University. Kimberly Langdon, MD, is a retired obstetrician and gynecologist with over 19 years of experience; she currently works with the online healthcare company Medzino. Alicia Sinclair is a certified sex educator and the founder of b-Vibe. Jaiya Ma is an award-winning somatic sexologist and creator of The Erotic Blueprint™. Bobby Box is a sex columnist and sex educator for b-Vibe. Ericka Hart, MEd, is a sexuality educator and activist.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a sex and wellness journalist who writes at the intersection of queerness, sexual health, and pleasure. In addition to being in Cosmopolitan, her work can also be found in publications such as Shape, Well + Good, Women’s Health, Health, Self, Men’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found reviewing one of the nearly 1,000 pleasure products she's tested, reading smut, or recording episodes of the podcast she cohosts called Bad In Bed. Follow her on Instagram @GabrielleKassel.
Perri is a New York City-born and -based writer; she holds a bachelor’s in psychology from Columbia University and is also a culinary school graduate of the plant-based Natural Gourmet Institute, which is now the Natural Gourmet Center at the Institute of Culinary Education. Her work has appeared in the New York Post, Men's Journal, Rolling Stone, Oprah Daily, Insider.com, Architectural Digest, Southern Living, and more. She's probably seen Dave Matthews Band in your hometown, and she'll never turn down a bloody mary. Learn more at VeganWhenSober.com.
Stella Harris is a certified intimacy educator, professional coach, trained mediator, and the author of Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships and The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes. Her freelance career is never dull; highlights include being sent to a strip club with a press pass, appearing on the evening news to discuss the importance of sex education in schools, and speaking as an authority on banana slug mating habits. In her free time, she curls up with scary books and horror movies.
