We get it. Dressing well during the summer is difficult. With the sweltering heat and humidity, putting on a pair of pants and a button-down seems like unnecessary torture. However, summer weather isn't an excuse to schlep around in whatever dregs of clothing have been hibernating at the bottom of your drawers for the past six months. Here's looking at you, cargo shorts and jersey tanks. There are plenty of alternatives to long pants and shirts, and plenty of brands that manufacture their clothing to be breathable and wick away moisture. To that end, we’ve compiled a list of 11 things that you definitely shouldn't be wearing. We also went one step further and found stylish alternatives to these dreadful fashion please-dear-God-just-don'ts. You can thank us later.
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1
Cargo Shorts
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We liked your cargo shorts in 1999, back when shopping at Abercrombie was still cool. Now? It's time for an update. Cargo shorts work for guys who are actually working. Other than that, please stick to only four pockets on your shorts. Worried about how to stash your stuff? Read this for the best multipurpose bags on the market. How you organize and carry your belongings can be telling; make sure you’re telling the story you want to.
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2
Sandals with Socks
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Dude, seriously? What is the logic behind thinking this is an acceptable look? Sandals and socks are perfectly acceptably to wear individually, but they should never be worn together. Ever. If you’re looking for a pair of sandals with insane comfort, try a pair of Hari Mari flip-flops; they boast soft midsoles and firm arch support.
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3
Sport Sunglasses
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With thousands of men’s sunglasses on the market, women aren’t impressed when you whip out a pair of sport shades. Do they look decent on an professional baseball player? Sure. Odds are you're not a professional baseball player, though. Hop over here for the 11 coolest sunglasses this summer and check out the three types of sunglasses every guy should own.
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4
Madras shorts
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Colorful shorts can look fresh and youthful, but when you combine all of the colors together, as with traditional madras plaid, it has the opposite effect. Please don't leave the house looking like the whole color wheel got wasted and threw up on your legs. Instead, opt for these solid color chino shorts.
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5
Crocs
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There are a few acceptable occasions when Crocs are allowable. One, you're an emergency room doctor who stands all day, saving lives. Two, you're Mario Batali. If you're anyone else, wearing Crocs is an acknowledgement that you've simply given up. We can understand why your five-year old cousin still wears them, but you’ve got no excuse. If you’re into comfortable slip-on shoes, try these instead.
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6
Jersey Tanks
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Unless you’re heading to basketball practice or to see your favorite team play, you shouldn’t be wearing a jersey tank outside of your home and calling it a shirt. Short-sleeved button-ups (check out a current favorite here) are way more sophisticated and can still show off your guns.
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7
Overly-distressed denim
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Maybe you never skip leg day. Maybe you've got the nicest legs ever. That's great, but women do not want to see the majority of your legs through the holes in your denim. That's simply too far. As an alternative to buying shredded denim, take an old pair of jeans and lightlydistress them yourself. Want some new denim? How about one of these pairs?
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8
Tank Top Undershirts
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Want to wear one of these under your actual shirt? Great! Want to wear it as your only shirt? No. Just no. Unless your personal style icon is Kid Rock, let's keep your undershirts under shirts. Here are plenty of suitable fun graphic t-shirts to rock instead, all under $30.
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9
Jorts
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When women wear denim cut-off shorts, it's hot. When guys try to jump on the bandwagon, it's not. Women everywhere implore you not to cut up your jeans. As temperatures increase this summer, opt for a pair of moisture-wicking shorts or pants from Ministry of Supply. They will keep you feeling cool, even in the dog days of August.
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10
Head-to-toe streetwear
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Supreme has undoubtedly dropped some cool pieces, but when you’re decked out head-to-toe in the label's wares, women are going to wonder if you actually own anything else. Instead of investing in piles of streetwear, sink you money into a few statement pieces like this light-weight Imperial Motion jacket or one of these watches.
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11
Male rompers
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Really, guys? We can’t think of any occasion where a dude romper—or RompHim—would seem appropriate. If you need additional convincing that this is the worst summer trend for men, happy to oblige. Read this.