One of the best parts of baby-making is that modern medicine allows us to not make an actual baby if we don't want to. We're alive in a century when we can get down just for the sake of getting down.
And while we are fully aware of the fact that birth control makes sex awesome and way less stressful for our uterus, we hope guys can understand all its glory (and sometimes pitfalls), too. Because, believe it or not, dudes, if you're not standing behind a stroller right now, you are reaping the benefits of the BC.
Here's some stuff we wish more dudes knew about contraception ('cause if they were the ones who could get preggo, they'd no doubt be schooling us).
Ninety-nine percent effective isn't 100! Don't groan if we ask you to wear a condom even though we take our pill every morning like clockwork. We want to feel as secure as possible that this romp won't lead to a baby bump so we can relax and enjoy it more, of course.
It's implanted in our uterus, not our vagina (Google it). If you're concerned a plastic (or copper) rod that far up will damage your manhood, congratulations, you have an exceptionally large package (like, WHOA) between your legs. Seriously, how do you walk around with that thing?
Learn more fascinating facts about the female anatomy:
Don't be surprised if we ask you to pitch in if the Affordable Care Act stops covering birth control (or gets repealed altogether). Put your money where your peen is.
Related: 5 Things You Should Always Do After Sex
It's another form of birth control that allows us to hump without abandon, especially if we're the type who can't remember to take a pill every freaking day. Trust us, you and your penis won't even know it's there. If it accidentally pops out during intercourse, we've got a three-hour window to get it back in before a child gets conceived—score!
Some gals go Patch or go home. However, just so we're clear, it's got to already be stuck to the skin; it's not a magical pre-sex sticker that stops humans from being conceived.
Related: Reddit Asked: Can Sex Affect the Size of Your Vagina?
If it's our first time getting busy and you happen to remember we mentioned being on birth control at some point, that isn't your cue to shove it in sans latex. A friendly reminder, we don't want a baby or STDs right now. Having sex without a condom is a conversation we can eventually have—if you don't do stuff like trying to penetrate us bare without asking.
Condoms can be a drag and occasionally pleasure-reducing for both parties, but that can be solved with a little thing called lube. (Try this organic personal lubricant from the Women's Health Boutique.)
And you know what's worse than condoms? A one-night stand turned 18 years. So, sorry to be the rubber police but wrap that soldier up...
You can Cirque du Soleil yourself all over the bed in order to avoid ejaculating inside of us, but you'll never somersault your way out of pre-cum. Also, your timing and skills aren't as impeccable as you assume, Johnny Gymnastics.
Related: 7 Incredible Sex Positions for Every Mood
Some women are on it for their skin or to correct hormonal imbalances that cause other issues. Do not assume we're in a non-stop bone zone because our contraceptive game was on point when you met us. But also, don't assume that we're not doing it like we're on the Discovery channel—it's really none of your business until we DTR.
We have to take this type of no-baby medicine every day, ideally at the same time, for it to works its magic. So if you try to sex us and we start to freak out realizing we haven't taken it in three days (life can get crazy!), react accordingly—with gentle sympathy and a condom within reach.
Emergency contraception isn't a quick fix that we can pop like Tylenol for a headache. It's usually at least $50 per box and can come with a side of nausea. We don't want no scrub. A scrub is a guy that counts on us to hit up Walgreens when he gets sloppy with the condom.
Related: 7 Things Guys Do When They're Not Over Their Exes
Sometimes the side effects we experience from birth control are borderline inhumane. Acne, weight gain, and feelings weird feels all of a sudden are just a few—and besides switching our prescription, there's nothing we can do about it. Remember that we're taking one for the team here; a team that we'd like to currently keep at a maximum of two people.
