There are certain universal truths that apply to pregnant ladies: You’re going to have a big belly, your boobs will blow up like balloons, and you’ll develop a bunch of new secretive habits you never had before. Here are the top things all pregnant women do, but will never 'fess up to:

1. You Obsess Over Alcohol
Margarita rivers exist—in pregnant dreams, at least. And hey, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with smelling a bottle of wine daily once in a while.

2. You Sneak Lunchmeat
Cold cuts may be on the no-no list due to food poisoning concerns, but…sometimes a girl just has to have a turkey sandwich.

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RELATED: 7 Fears Pregnant Women Have—but Shouldn’t

3, You Relish the Pregnancy Parking Space
YOU GUYS: Some places have special parking spots for pregnant women. Never mind that you don’t actually need it—you get a reserved space, all because you had sex.

4. You Actually Love All the Attention
Strangers smile and open doors for you, and people willingly give up their seats when you’re around. It’s like being Kate Middleton for nine months!

5. You Play Up Your Girls
You may look like a sideways camel, but you suddenly have porn star-level boobs—and you better believe they’re going to be on display.

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6. You Shave in Weird Places
What else are you supposed to do when hair suddenly sprouts on your face, belly, and feet?

7. You Fart on the Regular
So weird how your dog suddenly developed a “gas problem” right around the time you got knocked up.

8. You Feign Fatigue
Of course you’re tired, but for the first time in your life, it’s completely socially acceptable to be in bed, watching KUWTK re-runs, at 7 p.m. You’ve got to work that one.

RELATED: Why Some Women Have So Much More Trouble Getting Pregnant Than Others

9. You Play with Your New Outie
Hey, it’s not every day that your belly button pops out like a turkey timer.

10. You Do THIS Daily:

11. You Freak the Eff Out About Childbirth
On the outside you’re all like, “Childbirth is no biggie!” But inside you’re fully aware that a human being has to come out of your vagina.

All gifs courtesy giphy.com

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Korin Miller
Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more. She has a master’s degree from American University, lives by the beach, and hopes to own a teacup pig and taco truck one day.