Last updated: Pray you never hear my words of the year

Pray you never hear my words of the year

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All sorts of clever predictions and round-ups appear at this time of year. Stunning collections of photography that range from the thought-provoking and tragic to the hopeful and unforgettable, plus great compilations of the best books and long-form articles. This year also marks the first time a pictogram has made it as the Oxford Dictionary Word of the Year – a big hand please, ladles and germs, for Face With Tears of Joy, the most-used emoji globally in 2015.

Dr Johnson must be turning in his grave. And amazingly emoji apparently still have a positive impact when used in a business context. Is there an emoji that means grimly imagining the first emoji used in a presentation deck?

While relishing the power of the pictogram might be (temporarily) beyond my reach, I’m pleased to have survived yet another year of buzzwords, and hopefully haven’t given in to temptation too often. That said, I have used the festive seasons to imagine some beauties for the year ahead. First person to get someone else to use one in a real situation wins.

16 buzzwords I hope you will never use

Techlology any cutting-edge platform designed to revolutionize communication but now used mainly to send pictures of cats (e.g. WhatsApp, SnapChat, Instagram etc)

Spa-keting conscious massage of statistics to reduce anxiety

Hickstarter innovation from the data farm

Phygital signaling the new age of physical and the digital

Content Meerkating waiting for someone else to stick their head above the parapet and then copying them

Proud Computing when your laptop is notably sleeker than the persons next to you. Can also be used when uploading a particularly good email or presentation: It’s in the proud

Beer Reviewed any useful work discussion that happens near a bar (craft beers are not an exception)

Meekonomics when figures aren’t quite as energetic as you’d hoped

Sleekonomics a beautiful curve

Cliqueonomics used when only the cool companies share the same data

Learnings per share the portion of a companys profit that is allocated to market research (actually this is quite a good one!)

Brand-width name given to the amount of brands under a single mothership

Meta-grade any self-referential measurement

Dream lining – the new thought shower for blue sky thinkers

ICH Also known as Brain Freeze. Point of reference for Ice Cream Headache. As in, I think Ive reached the ICH point here guys, lets pick it up tomorrow.”

Tindritis carpal tunnel syndrome brought on from excessive the swiping movement.

Modern business, meet revenue:
– End-to-end connected data
– Engage quickly with a great CX
– Sell anytime, anywhere

Get going TODAY.

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