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6 Women on What It's REALLY Like to Lose a Lot of Weight
It's not all glitter and after photos.
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"Is dating easier for you now that you've lost all that weight?"
When an old college classmate asked me this question at a friend's wedding, I couldn't believe someone would assume that the only thing keeping me from being successful at dating was a mere 30 pounds. As if, magically, my new body granted me access to a tier of dating options that had been off limits at my previous weight.
While his question was kind of offensive, it makes sense that she would think that losing weight would change more in my life than just my pants size. In fact, for people trying to shed pounds, the idea that the biggest change they'll experience is a drop on the scale is a common misconception. Experts agree that people who finally achieve their weight-loss goals are rarely prepared for the mental and physical realities of weight loss.
"Many times women have an unrealistic idea of what losing weight can bring into their lives," says psychotherapist Kelley Kitley, L.C.S.W. "They think, 'I'll be happier,' or, 'I'll get my dream job or dream partner.'" And then there's the issue of women crashing from their weight-loss high, says Kitley. "Women tell me that reaching their weight goal was an adrenaline rush," she says. But once it fades, they stress about gaining it back.
Beyond the emotional expectations, people who've lost weight can also have warped ideas of how to maintain their new weight. "The difficulty of weight maintenance is underplayed," says Bonnie Taub-Dix, R.D.N., founder of BetterThanDieting.com and author of Read It Before You Eat It.
Watching the pounds pour off, feeling your clothing get loose, and hearing all the compliments roll in keeps many people on track with their new healthy habits, says Taub-Dix. But maintenance is a quieter process, she says. You still have to watch what you eat, but your friends and the scale aren't cheering you on anymore, she says.
Here, several women dish on the positives and negatives they experienced after losing the weight.
"I'm More Confident, but It's So Hard to Stay Motivated"
"I've always been shy, and I still am. But since losing the weight, my confidence level has skyrocketed. I'm not as timid when networking or meeting new people. I'm finally getting comfortable in my own skin. That said, maintaining my weight feels impossibly hard. It's like Groundhog Day over and over—where is the motivation in that? Though all of my new clothes are motivating, I've been struggling to find another goal to keep me focused on my healthy habits. I was focused on the scale for so long that it's hard to shift it to something else and feel successful." —Kelly, lost 103 pounds
"My Family and Friends Make It Hard to Maintain"
"I think the hardest things I have to deal now that I'm trying to maintain my weight-loss habits are my family and friends. Even though my lifestyle changes made me healthier than ever, some people get very critical that I haven't gone back to my old ways. Even though I eat so much, they judge me for eating healthy and exercising, and have even accused me of having food issues." —Ashley, lost 80 pounds
"I'm Proud, but I Still Have Trouble Accepting My Body"
"After reaching my goal, I felt so proud of myself for doing what I set out to accomplish! But I also learned that positive body image and weight don't necessarily have anything to do with each other. I was still self-conscious about my old stretch marks, loose skin, and pockets of fat even after losing more than 100 pounds. It took me a long time to get to a point where I could accept my body as it was, even at my lowest weight. I learned that I had to get past the fear of what others thought of my body." —Erica, lost 130 pounds
RELATED: 10 Ways to Stay on Track with Your Weight-Loss Goals No Matter What
"I Miss the Positive Reinforcement"
"I've maintained my weight for six months, and I'm really happy with where I'm at. One weird thing that happened though is that people went from commenting about how awesome I look all the time to just accepting my body for what it is. I'm no longer a weight-loss journey, I'm just Lindsay. It's OK, but it makes me wonder, 'I still look good, right?!' —Lindsay, lost 26 pounds
"I Feel Awesome—but I Still Struggle to See My Body the Way Others See It"
"I was surprised to find that going to the gym in the morning made me feel so awesome. I realized that I was accomplishing more before the sun rose than some people accomplish all day. On the other hand, despite what my pictures told me, I couldn't see my progress when I finally hit my goal. My clothes were looser, but I still couldn't see it in the mirror. I just had bigger clothes. My self-image was warped even when I lost tangible inches and pounds." —Julia, lost 20 pounds
RELATED: How to Pick a Realistic Goal Weight
"People Treat Me Differently"
"I didn't realize that reaching my goal weight would actually help me be more productive in a day. As my eating became more focused on what my body needed instead of what my brain wanted, I had more energy. At the same time, I [realized] that people treat you drastically different when you're overweight. While the change was positive, it instilled some pessimism in me. I remember the same guys that had blown me off or even teased me in school were all of a sudden interested in getting to know me. I got better service at restaurants, grocery stores—everywhere! I wish the way people were treated was based on how they treat others—not [based on] their waistline." —Ellen, lost 90 pounds
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